Joe2stories

Stories from a Dublin Scientist

Month: November, 2015

Prepared

I drink during earthquakes. When the world starts to wobble, so do I.

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Written for the Grammarghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 Challenge number 29.

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A new book with me in it

Good news!

I have two stories included in the latest flash fiction anthology by Black Pear Press called “A Stash Of Flashes” you can buy it here.

Do so and I will love you for ever.

Joe

She Prayed

Hi there! This is my offering for this week’s picture it and write from Ermilia blog here. Once again, the picture is not mine, I only use it for inspiration. Anyway, enjoy.

She was a religious woman, she believed, she prayed and when both her parents died in a fire she went to her confessor and he said that they were in a better place that, they were with God, and that she would see them again, in time, and she prayed and in the end, felt a little better.

She was a religious woman, she believed, she prayed and when the life growing within her was snuffed out and she was forced to give birth to a corpse she went to her confessor and he said that sometimes God made things happen that are hard to cope with but to rest assured that there was a plan for her like there was for everyone else and she only had to have faith and she prayed and prayed and in the end, felt a tiny bit better.

She was a religious woman, she believed, she prayed and when her husband of ten years felt no more for her and decided to trade her in for a younger model she went to her confessor and he said that when life seems darkest that is when God can offer you hope and she prayed and prayed and prayed and in the end she felt just a tiny bit better.

She was a religious woman, she believed, she prayed and when the tiniest ghost in an X-ray on her pancreas started to grow and grow throughout her body sapping away her body and her life she went to her confessor and he said that it was at the end, when despair was at its greatest that was when the promise of salvation can bring the chance of solace so she prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. She prayed as the corruption filled her body down to the bones and she withered away. She prayed as her strength failed her and she prayed up to her last breath.

In the end; on one knows if she felt better.

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Incident

Archchancellor Smyth of Hoodunyt University of Sorcery looked out as the roof of the alchemy building shot into the air, followed by a plume of smoke.
As he watched, the smoke took the form of a demon and flew off.
This wasn’t good
There’d be forms to fill.
Maybe even a meeting.

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Written for The Grammar Ghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 Challenge number 28.

Expensive Tastes

She was beautiful, so beautiful in fact that Gary was convinced he was dreaming. Her expensive tastes soon woke him of that.

First it was Beluga Caviar, then it was Alaskan blubber. It was enough to drive him insane.

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Written for The Grammarghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 challenge number 27.

New book!

Hi There!

A new book with me in it is available for you to purchase from the excellent people at Original Irish Writing. Go ahead. Check it out. Extra awesomeness goes to all who purchase.

Picture it and Write: Left to Chance

Hi there! This is my offering for this week’s picture it and write for Ermilia’s blog here. Once again; the picture is not mine, I only use it for inspiration. Anyway, enjoy.

Left to chance

“What brings you here?” The bouncer asked with a sneer, “Did the pub close early tonight?”

“Ha Ha!” Billy chuckled sarcastically, “No, my young man. I am in fact ready to try my luck again. Provided that you have the guts to let me inside your establishment.”

The bouncer looked Billy up and down then said, “To try your luck, you have to bring money with you. If you don’t have money, you don’t get in. We don’t give credit, we don’t take watches, jewellery or anything else in lieu of cash. I know for a fact that you drink every cent you earn so you are most definitely not welcome.”

“But sir!” Billy reached into his pocket and removed a wad of cash “There is sooo much money weighing down my pocket. Even I can’t drink all of this.  Perhaps if I were to gamble it I may lighten my load. Care to see me try?”

The bouncer looked confused “How the hell did you get that much money? Your name if dirt in this city No bank or business would so much as look at you. Your only chance would be a loan shark and they would not be too kindly to you risking their investment on the tables. Maybe you should go home. I wouldn’t want you to end up losing your front teeth or something.”

“No no no! It is nothing like that. I have just been prudent. Surely you can reward my sensibility with a little flutter or two. What do you say?”

The bouncer thought hard for a minute, his eyes moving between the money and Billy’s face. In the end, he relented. ” Okay! You can go in. But I’m telling Freddy and he’ll be watching you like a hawk. If there’s anything untoward, and I mean anything, You’ll be out of here quick as shit.”

Billy smiled broadly as he walked past. “Man!” He said, “I understand. I have no intention of leaving until I’m good and ready.”

He left the hulking bouncer behind and entered the bright lobby of the casino. All around him he could see old friends, the slot machines, the poker and roulette tables and back to the end of the wall, the craps tables. That was where  he was headed, right after converting his cash to chips of course.

Luck was not his constant companion, but when it smiled upon him, it rained good fortune. He had gotten the money through a nominally legit but harmless enough scheme that had come to fruition via an untold stroke of luck. Now it was his intention to see how far his luck would hold. It may be risky, even foolhardy to let all the money he had gained rest on the roll of the dice. But risky was almost always more exciting than safe. even if it never panned out.

Left to chance after all, his life had lead to here. Where would it go next?

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Demand

Yesterday’s williwaw in Jefferson’s department store has been blamed on mismanagement.

A spokesperson admitted that in hindsight the launch of the X-Station console needed more security.

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Written for the Grammar Ghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 Challenge number 26.

Picture it and Write: The Golden Lioness

Hi there! This is my offering for his week’s picture it and write by Ermilia’s blog here. Once again, the picture is not mine, it is of one of the extremely beautiful and talented co-creators of Ermilia, Eliabeth. I am using it for inspiration. Anyway; Enjoy.

The Golden Lioness

She was of uncommon beauty. Even from a young age it was remarked upon. But when you are from the family of Western Lions there is seldom much common about you. She had been fated for Red Keep and the house of the  Dragon but she was spurned and for that slight and a hundred more, the lion sided with the stag and she became queen.

Two princes she bore, and a princess. They were the only light in her life, save her brother, King slayer, siblings who no one said were closer. They kept her sane as the Stag king whored and drank himself away from solid virility to death.

Her son took the throne and in no time his cruelty and madness had three kingdoms in rebellion. The wolves from the north, the fish from the riverlands, the Kraken from the sea and worse of all, the fire stag, emboldened by false rumours and whispered prophecies of a false religion.

It was hard fought, danger was at her gates more than once, but, in time, many of those who opposed her had been trampled into the dirt. More than anything this was by the hand of the old lion, adept at the use of both strength and cunning.

But all was not perfect in the red keep. Firstly the roses with their queen of thorns began to plot against her. Then the imp, the dreadful little lion, poisoned her boy, the young king and then, by ways not known took the life of the noble old lion himself. The strength of her house greatly down she soldiers on, taking comfort in her remaining son.

But new troubles await. Unquashed; false rumours of her and her brother still spread amongst the small folk. The church, newly invigorated with zeal, seeks the truth. Even a lion cannot fight the seven and must allow the greatest indignities. In the south, venomous snakes stir and threaten to wrap their coils around her beautiful princess. In the west, the kraken still ravages the coasts. In the north, still in chaos, the black brothers send word of horrors on the march.

And in the East, most troubling of all. There are tales of a young woman, of cities falling, and of dragons reborn.

The golden lioness would be wise to be wary. In her world the price of power is heavy, constant vigilance is required. In the game of thrones you must win; or you die.

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Awesome Costume Elia 😉