200

by joetwo

“Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to you!! Happy Birthday dear Noah. Happy Birthday to you!”

There was a surfeit of hoorays and Noah leaned over and blew out the candles on his cake. “Thanks guys!” He said “This is the best birthday ever.” Noah leaned back as the porter took the cake back to cut it up. The entire ward was around the table, drinking lemonade from plastic cups, paper plates waiting the return of the cake.

Jimmy, A.K.A. Napoleon asked “Are you really 200 Noah?”

Noah nodded “As far as I know. Records were a little sparse back then. It was either June or July 1815 that I was born. We always celebrated June so that is that.”

Bob, who received messages from the CIA, said “Get off! You can’t be that old; it’s impossible. You can’t be more than one hundred and fifty.” There was laughter.

Derek, reincarnated Buddha, replied “How do you know what’s impossible? If he says he’s two hundred.” He nodded at Noah “I believe him.” There were cheers of support from around the table.

Chuck, reanimated ghost, put in “But I was talking to Bill the nurse and he told me that Noah’s birth cert says that he was born in 1972, not 1815. I think someone is lying.”

Alan brought right back “Birth Cert. birth schmert! My Birth cert says that I was born in New York. We all know that is a lie. I’d trust Noah’s word above any document.”

The back and forward quickly silenced by the return of the porter with the sliced cake. The table descended on the confection and spent a few happy minutes eating away.

Noah liked it here. He could be himself with these people, they were his friends, they liked him, they accepted him. Compared to Jesus, Julius Cesar and Zxrtpt from the plant Spong, a two hundred year old man was positively common place, boring even. It didn’t matter that officialdom didn’t believe him, they could be for given for thinking he was forty three, he

did

spend a lot of money on that fake birth cert after all.

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Copyright Ruth Black

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Written for the Grammar Ghoul Press Mutant 750 number 52.

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