Doctor Joe: Agony Uncle 22

by joetwo

Doctor Joe: Agony Uncle; what ever your problem, come to Joe*.

Dear Doctor Joe,

Is there really a place called Termonfeckin? And why the feck did yer name it that, please?

Flowery Anne


Dear Flowery Anne,

Why yes Flowery! A place called Termonfeckin does exist. It is in the county of Louth and is a small village with a population in excess of six hundred people. It’s name derives from the Irish Tearmann Feichín or Fechín’s refuge after a medieval saint who founded a monastery at the  site. It is by all means a lovely place and not deserving of any dispersions regarding it’s name. There, I think, lies the root of your problem.

The issue as I see, Flowery, is standing erect right in front of you. You have a filthy mind. A mind that penetrates down to the dirt of even the most innocent of phrases, not resting until it spews out an imagined improper meaning. It is usually only a rare thing but you seem to have unsurpassed stamina for it, going at it any chance you get, even for hours at a time. I take it your social life may suffer as a result.

But help is at hand Flowery. Your obsession with seeing the filth need only be grasped with two hands to be subdued. By probing into the dark recesses we will be able to find the problem. We may have to go deep, maybe even uncomfortably so but I am sure you will thank me in the end.

It may be dark, it may be messy. But I promise you I will keep coming at the problem, again and again until it is satisfied.

You, me and maybe the occasional professional of my choosing will sort out this problem for you.

Ready and willing to help,
Doctor Joe

*Editors Note: Joe especially likes the strange ones.

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