Political Discourse

by joetwo

In other news; Parliament began their deliberations on the new Traffic Bill. Minister William O’Brien told the house that it was a much needed piece of legislation.

“After many years of stepping around the issue by previous administrations this government had finally taken action to bring much needed clarity to the law on our roads.”

However this piece of political point-scoring did not go down well with the opposition. Their leader, Deputy James Phillipson was scathing.

“You will find Minister that this legislation bares a striking resemblance to a bill my party drew up when last in government but which was maliciously blocked by the action of your own party. Still; such gaping memory malfunctions can only be expected from a minister who can’t seem to remember how the money in his bank account doubled so mysteriously.”

The minister rose to the bait with characteristic aplomb.

“Mr Speaker! Could you please instruct the stewards to open the windows in the chamber and allow it to air? I find there is a strong smell of bullshit coming from the opposition benches that is quite nauseating.”

That slight was too much for Deputy Phillipson and insults started to fly across the chamber.

“I put it to the minister that he has a face like a Baboon’s arsehole and wouldn’t recognise good governance if it came into his office and offered him a large bribe. Not that he wouldn’t be adverse to taking that bribe regardless.”

Leading to.

“I would like to point out to the deputy that he is in fact a bastard. However; I am sure that he is aware of that fact since his mother was such a slut! Everyone else is!”

This then devolved into a frank exchange of views forcing the speaker to end the session within five minutes of starting. Government sources say that the debate will resume when all injured parties are discharged from hospital and Deputy Phillipson gets the results of his rabies test.

Now over to sports.

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Written for Trifecta Week eighty-five.

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