Doctor Joe: Agony Uncle 15

by joetwo

Doctor Joe; Agony Uncle, Joe cares!*

Dear Doctor Joe,

I am starting my final year of school and I have no idea what I will do when I finish. Can you suggest some careers advice?

Serious Student

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Dear Serious Student,

Woe is me for I cannot recommend that you attend that most august institution, that seat of the highest possible learning. But alas, my own alma mater, Bob’s Medical School, sadly closed it’s doors not long after I left (I had nothing to do with it! Those drugs were there when I got there!) no more will students get the best budget medical education this side of the Red Cow Roundabout. I am truly sorry for you Serious but there are always other options all you have to do is pick.

Many careers counsellors will tell you you have to read and read if you want to know what career would suit you. That my friend, is nonsense. The best way to learn is by doing. Getting stuck in the deep end is the best way to decide if you will like a particular job or career path.

Take my cousin Jeanine. She had aspirations of being a vet, so she showed herself what the life was like by sticking a hand up a cow’s arse. She was pleasantly surprised, the farmer and the cow were not. When she gets out of prison she has every intention of applying to veterinary college.

Other examples you might try could be starting fights with gangs to simulate the career of a policeman or soldier, wearing low-backed trousers to simulate a construction job, or speaking inane drivel to everybody for a career in politics. The possibilities are endless.

Yes Serious; the world is full of amazing possibilities. All you have to do is grab the cow by it’s backside and seize it.

Happy job hunting.

Doctor Joe

*Editor’s note: About the money, only about the money!

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