People of Earth

by joetwo

Greetings people of Earth. I am Lornax, ambassador from the Interstellar Alliance. The Alliance is a grouping of over fifty spacefaring civilisations united in our concern for less advanced races. Which brings us to the unfortunate circumstances of our arrival.

We have been observing you for many centuries, watching you, trying to determine the direction of your civilisation. Using our eons of experience we can say with a high degree of probability that your civilisation will annihilate itself within 100 years; plus or minus three decades. We have calculated that this is likely to occur either as a nuclear war (30 percent probability) or from environmental collapse (70 percent probability). Needless to say; this would not be acceptable.

It has been decided by the council of leaders of the Alliance to act to prevent the destruction of your world. A fleet of space craft has just emerged into Low Earth Orbit. They will shortly land close to all major population centres and begin operations. We would like to take this time to assuage your fears. After all it is only our intention to preserve your planet into the future. We are doing this for your own good.

As set out in the briefing documents; we will begin by reducing the planet’s population by 80 percent followed by confiscation of from hereafter “banned” technology including but not limited to fissile material, CFC’s, most major pesticides, herbicides and petroleum processing equipment (full list attached).

We expect full compliance with our order within three days. Failure to comply with a writ from the Alliance may be met with severe reprisals up to and including planetary bombardment, ground invasion, or the use of  genetically modified pathogens, all of which are projected to result in higher population reduction than our voluntary measures.

You may argue, you may plead. But none of these things we require has not already been realised as necessary by your own scientists many times before. It is our intention to see them through.

We await your quick compliance.


Written for Trifecta week fifty-nine.