A Nifty Idea

by joetwo

Love is one of the great things in life, inspiring, confusing and terrifying people in equal measure. Yet there wasn’t always love in the world. At the very beginning, there was no love, no sex, no sexes, no children, none of that. There was no need, the gods made each person individually from, clay, lint and old newspapers. They thought this was a good idea at the start. But as the world got bigger and bigger and needed more and more people to fill it, the gods found that they were spending more and more time just making people. This started cutting into the time they wanted to spend doing other things, like drinking and partying. Eventually they came to the realisation that something had to be done.

So the gods held a meeting, all of them filling the celestial hall in heaven. Bob, the king of the gods started it off. Noting that there was a problem, Bob declared that he was going to throw lightning and smite things until the problem was solved. This was exactly the kind of hard-line, no-nonsense attitude that had gotten Bob elected as king in the first place, but everybody quickly came to the conclusion that this was probably not going to work, that a more nuanced approach would be needed.

There was a nervous quiet over the whole hall when in the back, amongst the minor gods, Dave, the god of nifty ideas spoke out. “Why don’t we make people make themselves! Make copies, kind of like a photocopier.” Dave then went on to explain about the photocopier, which he had come up with that morning and everybody agreed that that was a nifty idea. The whole room then started into a whole brain storming session to flesh this idea out, Dave having  just come up brainstorming, white boards and non-permanent markers. He was on a roll that day! They started off with the idea that there should be two types, the first, which they called “Man” and the other “Woman”, more letters because they are better. Will, the god of plumbing, consulted on how things should be arranged on the inside and everything ended up looking better than the sawdust that they had been stuffing inside people previously.

When they had things sorted out pretty well functionally, Al, the god of killing the buzz, asked “This all looks really complicated and messy. How are you going to get enough people doing it to keep the numbers up?” Dave thought for a second and then announced “I have just the idea for that! You know we are still going to need a little god stuff for this process to work. Why don’t we keep a little in the man and the woman and when they do it the god stuff will transfer and they will feel it. That should work!” Just so you knew, to be a god is to be in a state of ecstasy all the time. By keeping a little bit of divine essence in the process people would feel what it was like to be a god, if just for a little bit.

“They won’t stop going at it if that is the case” Agreed Al, “How are you planning on getting them to do anything else?”

But Dave was unconcerned about this “I have just the thing! It’s called a ‘Headache’ and it should keep things at manageable levels!”

But Al wasn’t finished with his buzz-killing yet “If this all works out then these new people, these children, will take a long time to grow up. How are you going to keep the man and the woman together for that length of time?”

Dave seemed flustered by that question but before Al could say anything Mavis, the god of mental illness spoke up “Oh Oh! I have just the thing! I can set it up, that if the right man and woman meet, they will become obsessed with each other, stalking each other and never letting go!” The rest of the gods agreed that it was a good concept and that if it was toned down a little, they’d use it.

So that is the reason that today there are men and women in the world, that when a man is with a woman it feels divine and that when the right man meets the right woman, they both go a little bit mad.

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